The Intimate Self:
Self-Care, Sex, & Intimacy (After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis)
Sex after breast cancer isn’t talked about enough. Let’s change that.
A private, self-paced workshop about intimacy, desire, and reclaiming pleasure after breast cancer — rooted in lived experience and reflection, not clinical instruction.
There are some things no one prepares you for.
Some things are to be expected after cancer and early menopause.
The scars, yes. The fatigue, maybe. The hot flashes? Sure.
But the way sex changes?
The way your body responds differently — or doesn’t respond at all?
The way desire shifts… or disappears?
The way touch can suddenly feel complicated, painful, or loaded?
That part is rarely talked about.
And when it is, it’s often reduced to:
“Try another lube.”
“Give it time.”
“Be grateful you survived.”
You can be grateful — and grieving.
You can be alive — and still feel like something important has been taken from you.
If intimacy feels different now, you’re not alone.
If you’ve ever thought:
Sex hurts.
I don’t recognize my body anymore.
I miss the hunger I used to feel.
I feel too young for this.
I don’t know how to talk about this with my partner.
I’m tired of feeling like the only one.
You are not dramatic.
You are not broken.
And you are definitely not alone.
Our doctors mean well, but most of them have never been in our shoes.
Why We Created This
The medical system is designed to treat cancer.
It is not designed to guide you through:
Early menopause
Pain with intimacy
Libido shifts
Body image grief
Relearning your own anatomy
Rewriting your pleasure story
Those conversations often fall through the cracks.
And while there are incredible professionals doing important work in sexual health, there is something powerful about hearing from people who are living it.
We are not here as doctors.
We are here as women who have walked this road — and are still walking it.
There are some things that you just can't know until you know them.
Meet Your Guides
Amy Hartl — oncology massage and lymphatic specialist, breast cancer survivor, body-based self-care educator and advocate.
April Stearns — writer, founder of Wildfire Journal & Writing Community, breast cancer survivor, champion of honest storytelling.
We come at this from two different lenses:
Body-based awareness and practical experimentation.
Writing and language as tools for exploration.
But we share the same belief:
You deserve a life full of intimacy and pleasure.
Not the one you had before.
The one that fits who you are now.
It’s time to rethink pleasure, intimacy, and sex.
This isn’t about “fixing” sex.
This workshop is not about becoming who you were before.
It’s about reclaiming your relationship with the body you have now.
It’s about understanding that pleasure — in all its forms — is a quality of life issue.
It’s about communication.
Curiosity.
Grief.
Permission.
And possibility.
It’s about creating a new intimacy that fits your lived experience.
What We’ll Explore Together:
This is a 140-minute workshop broken into five parts, designed for you to move through at your own pace.
1. Welcome & Introductions
Setting the tone. Naming the silence. Creating a space where nothing is off limits.
2. The Emotional Layer
Grief. Anger. Change.
What you miss. What you fear. What might actually be possible now.
As we discuss recreating a safe environment for pleasure and intimacy, you’ll receive guided journaling prompts to help you dialogue with your body and uncover what’s really asking for your attention, along with reading recommendations and suggestions for trusted professionals to follow.
3. The Physical Layer
Anatomy. Pain. Tools. Tactics.
What’s worked for us. What hasn’t. What surprised us.
This is a deep dive into redefining consent, understanding professional care options, comprehensive product suggestions, the importance of experimentation, and of course more reflective writing prompts and trusted educational resources and recommendations.
Real talk — but without overwhelm.
4. The Mental Layer
Pleasure starts in the brain.
We talk about desire, arousal types, fantasy, self-touch, playfulness, and expanding the definitions of pleasure and intimacy. You’ll explore finding your “north star” as well as your personal pleasure roadmap and what it might look like to redraw it using new tools and terrain.
5. Now What?
Communication. Integration. Permission.
Whether you’re partnered or not, we help you think through how to move forward with clarity and agency.
What You’ll Receive
2+ hours of video (broken into 5 digestible sections)
Audio-only files for private listening
A comprehensive workbook + journal that includes: thoughtful writing prompts and reflection exercises, curated resource lists, and trusted product recommendations
An exclusive Yes/No/Maybe Blueprint for personal and/or partnered exploration and communication designed by April and her husband
BONUSES: Four digital issues of Wildfire Journal full of stories, essays, and poems written by our young breast cancer community all about love, sex, intimacy, relationships, identity, and our bodies.
Lifetime access
The invitation to reply directly to us with questions or reflections
All for $69.
There is no single appointment that covers all of this.
Not your oncologist. Not your therapist. Not even your pelvic floor PT (though we'll send you to her too).
What this workshop offers lives in the space between clinical care and lived experience: the honest conversation, the self-exploration, the language to understand what you're feeling and what you want.
That space? It's ours.
No expiration. No rush. Available whenever you’re ready.
Who is this workshop for?
This workshop is for anyone navigating changes in sex and intimacy after a cancer diagnosis.
Our primary audience is women who have experienced breast cancer — whether you are newly post-treatment, years into survivorship, living with metastatic disease, single, partnered, dating, married, or somewhere in between.
It’s for you if:
Sex feels physically different now.
Desire has shifted or disappeared.
Intimacy feels complicated, painful, or confusing.
You’re grieving the body you once knew.
You want to reconnect with your body — on your own or with a partner.
You’re craving honest conversation instead of surface-level or solely clinical advice.
You do not need to be partnered.
You do not need to be sexually active.
You do not need to “have it all figured out.”
You just need curiosity and a willingness to explore what intimacy might look like now.
The Truth
You may never go back to exactly how things were before.
But that doesn’t mean your intimate life is over.
It might mean it gets rewritten.
And rewriting can be powerful.
You deserve pleasure.
You deserve connection.
You deserve to feel at home in your body.
When you’re ready, we’ll be here.
FAQs
Do I need to be partnered to benefit from this workshop?
Not at all. This workshop is about your relationship with your body first.
Whether you’re partnered, dating, divorced, widowed, or happily single — intimacy starts with you.
In fact, many of the tools and reflections we share are designed to help you understand your own desires, boundaries, and pleasure — independent of anyone else.
Is this inclusive of LGBTQ+ relationships?
Yes. While much of our lived experience has been within heterosexual partnerships, the themes we explore — desire, grief, body image, communication, pleasure, and reconnecting with yourself — are not limited to one type of relationship.
Intimacy after breast cancer can shift in many ways, across all genders and orientations.
We aim to speak about sex and pleasure in ways that are expansive rather than prescriptive, honoring that there are many valid expressions of intimacy.
Wherever you land on the spectrum of identity and relationship structure, you are welcome here.
Is this workshop explicit?
We speak honestly and openly about sex and intimacy as adults.
There is adult language. There are candid conversations and demonstrations about anatomy, pleasure, and physical tools.
However, this is not graphic for shock value, and it is not explicit for entertainment. It is thoughtful, grounded, and rooted in lived experience.
If you’re looking for a space that is mature, respectful, and sex-positive — you’ll feel comfortable here.
What if sex is painful for me?
You’re not alone.
Pain with intimacy after breast cancer treatment is common — and deeply frustrating.
We talk about this openly.
We share what we’ve tried, what helped, what didn’t, and how to approach this with patience and curiosity rather than shame.
This workshop will not magically eliminate pain — but it will give you language, options, and hope.
Is this medical advice?
No. We are not, nor are we acting as, medical providers in this workshop.
This is a lived-experience-based conversation, combined with practical tools and resources that have helped us personally.
We encourage you to consult qualified medical professionals (such as pelvic floor therapists or sexual health specialists) for individualized care when needed.
How long do I have access?
You receive lifetime access for as long as the workshop exists.
Move through the material at your own pace.
Revisit it when you need it.
Return to the workbook and prompts as your relationship with intimacy evolves.
There is no deadline.
Do you offer refunds?
Due to the digital nature of this workshop, refunds are not offered at this time. However, if you have concerns about your purchase please reach out to me at hello@amyhartl.com and I will do my best to ensure you have a positive experience.
What if I still have questions or need more support?
You can book an online consultation with me for 1:1 support! My “Ask Amy” sessions are the perfect way to get your questions answered or more personalized guidance.