Friend, you may not believe this but I honestly have NEVER wanted to be associated with breast cancer.

It's one of my triggers - the idea that people see me, hear breast cancer, and then just picture a pink ribbon, or a pair of pink boxing gloves.

They start bringing their own perceptions and ideas of what a breast cancer "survivor" is to my experience without actually seeing how I live that experience.

Now I see the irony in this.

I have built my career in breast cancer land so of course I need people to think about breast cancer when they think of me.

But that doesn't mean that it's always easy.

In fact, until this year, October has always sent me running in the other direction.

I would start out with the best of intentions, ready to show up on social and be visible.

Ultimately though the onslaught of all the messaging - both corporate and community - would get me flipped inside and out and upside down and I would just disappear until I could recover and reemerge often months later.

So what's different?

I spend a LOT of time working on my healing when it comes to my relationship with my breast cancer experience and how I'm affected by others'.

I'm learning to set boundaries around who I follow, what I read, what I watch, and I give myself permission to take breaks from breast cancer whenever needed.

I'm also learning to set boundaries around my work.

I'm realizing what I'm here to do and what my limits are as well.

I'm learning to be deeply entrenched in breast cancer land without giving up my whole identify to one aspect of what I've been through and who I am.

I've also figured out what I want to share this month and so with a plan in place I begin today with the good, the bad, and the PINK of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

So let's get started with something that I bet you didn't know….

That time I was on the cover of Wildfire Magazine's “Cancer Culture” issue and wore a pink tulle skirt, black combat boots, and a Wildfire t-shirt that said it all with the words “Surviving Stuff” on the front.

The REAL story of the pink ribbon.

Did you know that this iconic symbol for breast cancer wasn't always pink?

It was PEACH and the person who started it didn't even have breast cancer.

Charlotte Haley was a 68 year old woman who had a long family history of breast cancer and wanted to make a difference.

In 1991 she created a postcard that read: “The National Cancer Institute’s annual budget is $1.8 billion, only 5 percent goes for cancer prevention. Help us wake up legislators and America by wearing this ribbon.”

The ribbon was a peach loop.

Her grassroots efforts eventually caught the attention of the editor-in-chief of Self Magazine and the senior vice president of the Estée Lauder cosmetics company who sought a partnership with Haley to take the ribbon and it's message national.

Much to their surprise, she declined.

And in the spirit of corporate appropriation they changed the color and created what ultimately became a worldwide symbol synonymous with breast cancer.

Love it or hate it, even from the beginning there was controversy when it comes to breast cancer awareness efforts….

It wasn't always a pink ribbon. Now the color and symbol is synonymous with breast cancer.

The complexities of Breast Cancer Awareness.

It's hard to take issue with something that seemingly supports such a great cause and yet there is nothing straight forward about this month if you've had a breast cancer experience.

When Breast Cancer Awareness “Month” started as a week in 1985 thanks to the American Cancer Society and Betty Ford, the goal was to educate women about breast cancer and the need to get screened in the hopes of early detection.

Almost 40 years later this month is a complex 31 days for each and every person who's been impacted by breast cancer.

Here is my inside take on the “awareness” angle of BCAM.

Why we still need “breast cancer awareness”:

85% of people diagnosed with breast cancer do not have a known genetic predisposition or family history.
Racial and cultural inequities and disparities continue to create higher rates of advanced disease among people of color compared to white people.
Screening isn't recommended or typically covered by insurance until a woman hits 40 but women in their 30s and even 20s are being diagnosed all the time, typically with later stage cancers.
Too many people still think it “can't happen to them” despite the statistic that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.

Where things get tricky for a lot of folks in the community:

Many of us feel “early detection buys time” more than it “saves lives” because of the fact that 1 in 3 women with a primary breast cancer diagnosis will face a metastatic recurrence which is not curable.
The typical aesthetic of the smiling, pink-clad, “survivor/thriver/warrior” who is recovered and running races in tutus surrounded by her “pink sisters” fails to acknowledge the horrors we go through due to this disease and the amount of trauma that many continue to live with even if declared cancer-free.

The downright problems with “awareness” campaigns:

Just like that first pink ribbon corporate America often uses this annual month as an effort to not only promote their products but to profit as well.
Only 2-5% of funds raised for breast cancer research goes to metastatic breast cancer (stage IV) which is the only breast cancer that is incurable.
Metastatic breast cancer awareness is often overlooked or downright ignored on a national level and only get highlighted for ONE DAY out of the month.
Representation for people with a breast cancer experience who aren't white women is still sorely lacking which is isolating for those of color or other gender identities.
Many awareness campaigns are embroiled in controversy thanks to misuse of funds or flat out “pinkwashing”.

No matter how you personally feel about the events and marketing of what is sometimes called “pinktober” there is one thing we all need to be aware of….

Some see community, others see consumerism. For those of us on the inside BCAM is anything but simple.

What is “pinkwashing”?

If you've never heard the term “pinkwashing” you probably haven't been hanging out in breast cancer land.

This term was coined by the Breast Cancer Action organization in 2002.

They define it as:

“A company or organization that claims to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink ribbon product, but at the same time produces, manufactures and/or sells products containing chemicals that are linked to the disease.”

Personally, I take this one step further with my own interpretation:

“Any organization, person, or company that uses breast cancer awareness month and the color pink to promote their products without actually giving back in a meaningful way.”

Too many companies out there think they can throw a pink ribbon on a campaign, holler “breast cancer awareness month”, and draw attention to themselves without actually supporting the cause beyond the hype.

I've seen so many cute t-shirts, “awareness” themed fitness classes, and pink kitchen products that don't actually DO anything other than associate themselves with a deadly disease in the name of marketing.

This month I'm honored to be speaking at a local entrepreneur's group to help them understanding how to avoid becoming a statistics by using BCAM to their advantage without actually contributing their dollars.

So what can we do if awareness isn't enough?

Not all pink products actually support breast cancer awareness or research. It's critical to do your due diligence before you buy if you want your money to go to the cause.

Here's to Breast Cancer ACTION Month.

Awareness is indeed still much needed but awareness alone isn't enough.

It's time for action.

Many organizations within the breast cancer community are working hard to change the narrative around breast cancer awareness month and lead the charge to action.

Here are some of the best out there if you are looking to get involved or spread the awareness we actually need:

My actions this October (and all year long) are to:

continue my work serving the breast cancer community through providing evidenced based therapies, trusted resources and recommendations, and teaching practical daily skills for life after a breast cancer diagnosis
educate and inspire through this weekly newsletter
lead our local breast cancer non-profit to grow and evolve for our community

With all of this said, I also want to fully recognize that not everyone is called to advocacy and not everyone is comfortable staying in breast cancer land.

If this is you, in the words of my dear friend April Stearns, I'm giving you permission to “opt out” (even though you don’t need it).

A “fence” of bras that lines a field in southern New Zealand. While it started as a few random bras left behind it has turned into a landmark and a fundraising effort. I got to see it in person when I vitiated in 2019!

You don't need any permission to “opt out”.

I've said it before and I'll say it 1000 more times:

“We all get to live this experience in whatever way is right for us.”

For most of my life I hated the color pink.

I felt rage when October rolled around.

I cringed at terms like “pink sisterhood”, “breastie and “breast friends” (ok these still aren't my favorite…).

And the thing is I know I'm not alone.

For so many of us this is a REALLY hard time of year.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

If stepping out of breast cancer land as much as you can - whether for the month of October or for the rest of your life - is what is going to make living day to day the best experience you can have, then I encourage you to do so.

Regardless of your choice I do have one ask of you…

You do not have to do anything for Breast Cancer Awareness Month except take care of yourself.

Today's ACTION step:

The only thing I hope you'll do today, on this the first day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, is acknowledge how this whole thing makes you feel.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

You don't have to sign up for a race, or donate to a cause, or get online and tell your story (unless you want to of course!).

But I do hope that you will consider what makes this month awful, bearable, or enjoyable for you.

And whatever you discover I hope you honor it because your truth is valid.

Whether you are a BCAM prink princess or an ostrich with your head in the sand I'll be cheering on until we meet next.

How are you navigating Breast Cancer Awareness Month 2023?

Send me this email: “For Me BCAM is….”